Have you ever been into an impossible kind of relationship? Do you often get into an argument with a particular sibling; do you have extreme dislike for a colleague or neighbor? Do any of your parents disapprove you without any apparent reason? Is there a child who is especially difficult to handle? Is there a particular person though whom (directly or indirectly) all your problems originate? If yes, then probably you may be experiencing a karmic relationship! To be frank, it is unlikely that a person may not have such a relationship. All of us experience positive and negative karmic relations in our lives. In this post we will explore following facts about karmic relationships:
- What is karmic relationship?
- What is its purpose in life?
- How to handle karmic relations?
- How to turn a negative karmic relation into a positive one?
What is karmic relation?
To understand karmic relations, I think one should be familiar with law of karma. One more thing that we need to realize is, Life is similar to a school and all of us are learning our respective lessons in order to evolve spiritually.
Past life relations where in, we have accrued some negative karma against a person due to, Bitter rivalry, Hatred, Enmity, Discriminative feelings, Intent to harm, Anger against him or her, or any other reason often meet again during a different life in order to pay or negate the karmic debt. Such relations have carried over negativity and are called negative karmic relations.
By accepting karmic relations in our lives on a spirit level we give ourselves an opportunity to resolve past differences.
What is the purpose of such relations in life?
As said earlier, there are two primary reasons, first it gives us opportunity to pay our karmic debt and second helps us learn important life lessons like love, compassion and forgiveness.
How to handle karmic relations?
Here are few points that may be of use in handling karmic relationships:
- Stop judging others: understand that every person is born with his or her destiny. I do not say that you should not help a person when he is about to commit a mistake, however refrain from forcing your decisions. If possible suggest what you feel once or twice with the rational behind your thought and then leave it up to him or her. It would be even better if you try to understand the other person’s point of view on a subject that might raise conflict between you two.
- Love unconditionally: Try not to attach strings to your love, love them irrespective of their shortcomings. This way you will reduce the intensity of negative feelings that might be coming to you giving fuel for prolongation of karmic relation. The wise advise not to allow selfishness to appear like love, understand that if you love someone and expect something in return then may be you are allowing love to get diluted with selfishness.
- Understand no one is helpless: Writer and doctor, Dr Atul Gawande mentions an important study in his book Complications, according to the study, The number of untoward incidents were less in ICU patients with similar complications for whom prayers were performed versus ICU patients for whom prayers were not performed.My only point is if prayers can help ICU patients then all those people with whom you have past karmic relations can also be helped through prayers. Use this tool liberally to avoid any possible conflict, and you will know the magic of prayers.
- Do not do tit for tat: I am not asking you to put down your defenses, but if you continue inflicting pain to your karmic partners, then the pattern will repeat life after life, until you become mature enough. If by no means you are able to handle a person, the best way is to separate yourself from the person without keeping any negative feelings in your mind. Once you resolve not to give energy to negativity then sooner or later the other half will to give up negativity. Someone needs to stop this cycle, so let it be you.
How to turn a negative karmic relation into a positive one?
I think this part is most important part of this post. You might have witnessed a wide variation in distribution of harmonious relations. In simple words relationships also follow normal distribution curve, means, a minority enjoys all harmonious relations, then there are majority of us who have a mix of harmonious and strained relationships, and again there is another minority whose life is filled with inharmonious relations.
To reach a level where we have less inharmonious relations we need to resolve our karma with others and ensure we do not create new negativity in our relations.
Here again the tools are forgiveness, unconditional love and selflessness, as you practice these tools you will form loving relations with people around you, and convert negative karmic relations to positive ones for this life and lives to come.